Sunday, February 23, 2014

Letter #69: satisfied

OH my, I'd better make this letter good, since I only have a couple left. Literally a couple. As in 2. dos. #whattheworld

Well, I'm sure Mom will be relieved to know that I am doing a little bit better with the whole "coming home" thing. I'm sure she was imagining a scene at the airport in a couple weeks similar to the scene at the airport right after receiving my call and announcing it in church...aka lots of tears and a bit of tantruming. haha. Don't worry, dear mother, I've stopped fighting against coming home. I really am feeling a lot more okay about going back and starting the next step, especially thanks to some emails from the late Sister Steg who informed me that "everyone who ever told me that coming home from a mission is the worst thing in the world stressed me out for no reason. I love being home!" So I know it's going to be okay...even if you don't know yet where I'm going to sleep. As much as I LOVE everything about Florida, I guess I can't spend my whole life running around Calle Ocho chasing people down and trying to give them Jesus cards. I actually am starting to get a bit excited about coming home, too, which I think is a good sign...even though in all reality I'll probably just sleep for the first 2 weeks.

My last transfer thus far hasn't been quite like I imagined it. In my head, we were going to have wild success tearing this place apart, baptizing everyone between the ages of 18-30 that we laid eyes on. Instead, apparently God thought it was more important to teach me a few more lessons in the time that I had left. Basically Sister Gordon and I have spent all transfer knocking on doors looking for people to teach. I definitely think one reason I was in YSA for so long on my mission is because God was trying to teach me that I can't always be in control. You literally have zero control over finding as a YSA missionary. It doesn't matter if you knock in complexes where you KNOW there are tons of YSA, you just can't control when and where you find them. In that sense, it's quite a bit different than in a normal area where you can teach basically anyone you find. We have met some amazing people recently but have had to pass all of them. However, I fully trust that God has prepared some incredible people between the ages of 18-30 who are going to be placed in our paths very, very soon. As in today. And I can't wait to meet them. :)

We had our Valentine's Day activity last went GREAT! We were a bit nervous at the beginning when no one was really there, but we had about 20 people show up and I think they all enjoyed themselves. We could see the difference, too, in branch unity afterwards which was the whole purpose! Yay! I am really starting to get to know the branch members on a more personal level and I am coming to love them all a lot!

Last week, I had one of the most amazing spiritual experiences of my life as Elder Kopischke of the Seventy came and did a mission tour. Not only did I get to hear from him during the zone conference we had, but also at MLC on Friday! He is incredible. I honestly don't think I've ever felt quite so spiritually "full" as I did after the zone conference on Wednesday. He is a great teacher and I learned so much. First off, did you know that the calling of the seventy is to be missionaries? Yes! Except they get to be missionaries for like 20 years! And they have transfer meetings and receiving divine callings to different "areas" (of the WORLD!) just like we do! I wish you could have seen my eyes light up as he was explaining it. I turned to Sister Gordon and said, "Sister....I NEED TO MARRY A MAN WHO WILL BE A SEVENTY. IT'S LIKE BEING A MISSIONARY FOREVER!" (Of course I am a #missionaryforlife #nomatterwhat. But cool would that be?!?!) 
I loved everything he talked about, but I think the most important thing for me was when he talked about doing all we can and then being satisfied. He told us to stop being so hard on ourselves and to ask the Lord to be able to feel His acceptance and approval. I honestly felt a huge burden lifted as he talked. I have never been one who is very good at being satisfied, even when I have done my best. So this is something I am striving to be better at--seeking the Lord's acceptance and then allowing myself to be satisfied. He also talked about comparison, something else I've always struggled with. He said, "Don't compare yourself. Instead, CONNECT yourself to Jesus Christ & your Heavenly Father." I loved that as well! 

Anyways, I know I'm at the point in my mission where people start to just say, "Oh, she's coming home soon, whatever." But I truly believe that some of the most important people I am supposed to meet in my mission could show up in these last 2 weeks. So I would ask that you continue to pray that God will send angels to assist us in the work and that He will put these people in our path!

I love you all!
hermana dougal

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